Updated: Jan 12
It’s a natural impulse to want to fight and wrestle with negativity. Doing so makes you FEEL like you are in control of the situation.
But you don’t need to fight with negativity to deal with a problem effectively. Fighting, and thereby resisting, negativity is actually counterproductive and only makes the negativity GROW. Yet we do it. Why?
The short and simple answer is that a part of us believes we NEED to fight negativity, and another part of us gets something out of it.
If you pay attention, you come to see that every time you fight negativity with more negativity, (whether this is in another person or in yourself), you will end up getting both tired and even more snared in the problem you were trying to solve in the first place...
Negativity feeds on negativity.
What situations have you encountered recently where this has been the case?
There’s another way, which is learning how to meet negativity with NEUTRALITY.
It looks like this:
Become aware of your internal experience of negativity. If it is another person that’s being negative, become aware of the negativity you experience in YOURSELF. Allow everything in your experience, don't judge it or push it away.
Consciously detach yourself from the negativity you’ve become aware of and observe it. What's the emotion? What’s the sensation in your body? What are your thoughts and impulses?
Resist the urge to react to, or give into the thoughts and impulses, but instead just observe them like a witness. Practicing meditation regularly will help you do this. Every time you resist getting pulled into this energy, you have lessened its hold over you.
Acknowledge the existence of negativity with neutrality. This looks like accepting that the negativity is there and letting it be. What do you have to do to do this? What might be preventing you from doing this?
The previous steps defuse the negativity, but giving into it can still remain as a HABIT. Now, make a conscious choice about what to direct your attention towards. Every time you make this choice you strengthen your muscle of focused attention and willpower!
Depending on where you are, the road to mastering these steps will look different. It will also depend on what the negativity is about as negativity exists at different levels with different “pulls”.
Some general things to have in mind when it comes to this process:
*The negativity you still hold is there because, on some level, you acknowledge that perception as true. Remember that it is a perception, and true is not the same as truth...
*The more “true” you hold the negative perception to be, the more emotions will be held around that perception.
*The more emotions you hold around the negativity, the more difficult it will be to meet it with neutrality.
Therefore you see that the resistance to investigating these perceptions is in fact feeling your emotions. You are not doing yourself a favor by resisting them. Emotions are energy that wants and NEEDS to move and nothing but normal and natural.
Further, until the energy has moved, you are governed by your unexpressed emotions instead of being the one in charge, like you want to be.
As a Certified Core Energy Coach, I am specifically trained to find and defuse the beliefs and perceptions that are causing these negative perceptions and emotions that are keeping you stuck in the same patterns.
When you’ve released what’s causing your negative energy, you will be able to effectively problem solve and move forward towards your goals, feeling more at peace and confident!
How to start?
If you haven’t already, a tip is to take the Energy Leadership Index Assessment ELI).
This test will give you a clear overview of your current perceptions that are causing your negativity, and therefore what you can do to move forward. You can read more and order the test HERE.