How does the fear of rejection get in your way?
Imagine that you're on the verge of making significant changes aligned with your innermost values and desires. Whether it's pursuing a new career, seeking a fulfilling relationship, or transforming the way you show up in the world — such as establishing firmer boundaries, communicating assertively, or having more confidence — fears about how others will react start to surface and get in your way.
Unfortunately, if these fears go unaddressed or left unmanaged, they can impede you from taking actions and thereby stop you from creating a life that resonate with your authentic self.
Friday last week I had the pleasure of joining Sigrid de Kaste in her live broadcast discussing this topic.
Sigrid recognized that the fear of rejection is something that often obstructs her clients in their book-writing processes. Similarly, this fear also manifests itself in various ways for most, if not all, of my own clients.
I’ve compiled a list of seven steps based on the work that I do with my clients that you can apply yourself to overcome the fear of rejection.
1. Feel and Allow: Learn to get in touch with your emotions and allow them to pass through without engaging in negative thoughts. Practice being present and acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Set aside time to balance your nervous system when needed, it will lead to huge benefits.
2. Validate Your Feelings: Normalize your experience by validating your feelings. Recognize that it's natural to feel afraid of rejection and acknowledge that such a reaction is understandable. This will build the habit of self-compassion.
3. Identify the Narrative: Identify the story you tell yourself about potential rejection. Understand that a core belief behind your fear, and one that we all have, is a belief that you're not good enough. Uncover the underlying narrative that fuels your fear.
4. Trace the Origin: Explore where these beliefs originated from and evaluate how strongly you believe in them on a scale of 1-10. Understanding the source of your beliefs can help you gain perspective and challenge their validity.
5. Recognize it's a Small Part: Realize that your fear of rejection is only a small part of you and not your entire identity. Work on accepting that it's there, then identifying and distancing yourself from this fear to respond to it in a more helpful manner.
6. Explore the Benefits: Reflect on the potential benefits of holding onto this fear of rejection. Consider what it protects you from and what the underlying reasons for expecting rejection are. Consider what the advantages of letting go of the fear of rejection would be.
7. Embrace a New Experience: Envision an alternative scenario where you allow yourself to experience something different. On a daily basis, set intentions to look for proof that your message and you as an individual are valued and accepted. Look for evidence that supports your worth and the positive reception of your ideas.
These steps need not necessarily be applied in this order. It all depends on where you currently find yourself and what capabilities you already have in place. When you start applying one step you will notice that they all build on each other.
What could be possible for you if the fear of rejection didn't get in your way?
See the video HERE. Good luck and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions!
All the best,